It's almost 5 am and I am falling asleep on top of my computer. I'm so excited to be leaving to Mexico City soon. Yesterday, I printed 400 New Year Cards for all the special people in my life.... my familia, my friends, the fabulous people who love my art, the folks who always support me. I printed them on a leterpress and my arms are sore. The holidays are always tough for me, they bring me down. So if you notice a sour tinge in my writing, that's it. It's not supposed to be like this, but I think its the Christmas break is when I have more free time than usual, and I can reflect on all of my shortcomings, like for example, how much of a workaholic I am. I can also think about all the new year's resolutions I try to keep. Like the one where I said I would do yoga once per week. I wish!
Exactly one year ago I was sobbing endlessly under my bed covers because my relationship of seven years came to a close. I remember the shitty Christmas I had that year. Well, one year later, and that black cloud returns, exacly on 12/24. I expected it, but didn't think it would make me so gloomy. So I had to get in my bed, and look at my drawings, the drawings I did over those seven years. All the crazy shit I wrote, I had to reread it to time travel back to that place. And I realized that today, I am in a better place than I was then, only because I have learned many things. Someone once told me that to live, you have to die. It's true, sometimes it takes those broken moments to really make you understand life and to understand what makes you happy and what does not. One thing for sure is that being alone has taught me to really monitor my own time, my own goals, to be my biggest motivation. I have learned also how to make myself happy, which for me is through sitting at a table to do my art, or to stand at a press to print whatever comes out of my head. So, luckily, my gloomy days are now coming to an end as I prepare for the great blessings of 2008. I have started to map out all the dope projects I will do next year, and I had to stop for a moment, and realize, wow, I am truly blessed. I have a craft that makes me happy and that helps me sustain myself, to keep doing what I love. And I can affect so many people through my art, even after I am gone from the planet.
On another note, I was thinking today that all of my pieces in 2008 will be named after songs from the 80's. So here is the first one, I'm starting a bit early. This one is the piece on my New Year card. If you are on my snail mail list, you'll get one in the mail. The title of it is "From the banks of chaos in my mind." Whoever can guess where that line is from gets a free letterpress print. It's from my favorite band that has the name of my not so favorite group of people.